Unexpressable.

Am not sure if this word exist. Let me check the dictionary.

It's unexpressible which means impossible to express.

No. I meant to say being unable to express.

Not hectic, but to write in my diary will steal my time coz i tend to spend lotssss of it.

To talk to people... i found it's tiresome to talk to people and my feelings conflict are not resolved.

Thus, the best way is to talk to the Creator of me. He who owns my life.
I ask Him to give me patience.
I ask Him to grant me positive thoughts.
I ask Him to block all the worries, sadness from me.
I ask Him to let things happen according to His blessings and wills.
I just want to hang everything in His hands including my fear.
I know that He hear me, He watch me, He know me better than me.