of Mount Tahan and me - let's finish this story.

Day 1.. 11th March 2016 (continued..)

i wasn't so fast. i wasn't slow. i was just following my own pace. my snail pace to hike. my weakness ever i realized since Mount Ophir hike is always climbing up 90 degrees. i arrived the 1st campsite at 17:32 hrs.

i wasn't friendly too. i was in my own world. ha-ha. i didn't really have anyone accompanied me too. i just walked by myself most of the time and i was asking for Allah since i had my own intentions for this hiking.

omo.. Shima was with me at some times, but she just couldn't resist herself to be fast. hahaha!

we prayed Zuhr and 'Asr at Lata Luis. on the rocks in the river. ^_^

it was dusk when we; the ladies had our shower at the river too. but, we went further from the campsite. and i was trying to secure myself from being seen by the guys down the river, i walked towards a bunch of dried branches. when i was at the middle of.. it's like the branches were in front of me, on my right were my ladies hiking members... on my left, i saw something black walking towards me. it was about 500m-700m from me. ain't sure. ain't good at measuring distance. it's not too far and not too close. my jaw dropped when my brain digested that it was a BABY BEAR!!!! within a second, my reflect was that i turned my body 180 degrees straight away and walked slowly but fast to others. i was too afraid to speak up my voice. i told them, "i saw a baby bear!"

when others got my message, we agreed to just bathe as quick as we can. i was the fastest though. hahaha! no. no photo of the bear. i was having my shower, okay? got it? none of us brought a camera too that time. and i do feel regret for being too anxious of seeing the bear coz my photograph memory of seeing the bear is not very clear. :(

i didn't eat much during dinner. first reason was because we're gonna sleep early. second, i didn't want myself to be needed a toilet at night. hahaha! third, my inter dental toothbrush was broken. T_T i didn't bring extras.

i was touche when Shima requested to perform the prayers together. this is one of the sentimental memory for me.

i snuggled down in my sleeping bag before 21:00 hrs. it was quite cold. thank God that my thin sleeping bag did well to warm myself! i slept in a jungle 750m from sea level that night.

21:05 - i ended my diary update.


Day 2.. 12th March 2016

as early as 4.30 a.m. i was awaken by nothing. it was too early to sleep last night. :P

breakfast. cleared the campsite.

i brought a flysheet with me. well.. i didn't take the heavy ration, so, i felt that i must bring one flysheet since my bag was lighter than the first day and learning to eliminate my selfishness. *smirk*

the second day, being teased by others. i had became myself coz i responded harshly to things which annoyed me.

i still followed my own not-too-slow-not-too-fast pace. and still learning the nature of hiking-camping-activity.

i was one of the early birds reached Bonsai and Kem Botak.

each time we're going to start moving after a break, one of the guide would say this, "ANGKAT SAUHHHHH!!!" haha!!

i was in a battle of feelings when i was at 1493m from sea level. 13:15 hrs. it was at Helipad if am not mistaken. that was my last diary update. and i couldn't believe myself that i had hiked that far!

i saw a plant at the Helipad. i called it as dandelion (ain't sure if they're really dandelions. that not confident me). i wished that i could record a video of me blowing the dandelions. so, i told Daus that it wud be beautiful to record a video blowing off the dandelions. he recorded a video. but, deleted it coz the memory was full. :(

at Kem Botak, it rained before the sun light left us in the dark till night. i know myself is not someone who can bear coldness, thus i just changed my clothes. again... after the late prayer in the evening, Shima's kindness knocked my heart. (pehal bebunga sangat ni...) we're shaking hands. she felt my cold hand. i didn't realize that... thus, she offered me her jacket. her pink jacket. haha! thank you much Shima! later, i was aware that my teeth at the upper jaw met the teeth at the lower jaw. i was shivering. i returned her jacket after my shiver ended. she must be needing that too that time.

another touche act was when a guy offered his socks for a lady to perform the prayers. beautiful isn't it? :)

i think, i arrived Kem Botak around 18:30 hours. i was one of the early people because i didn't stop for photos. *shrugs*

i saw a white mouse when we were washing the dishes after dinner.

Day 3... 13th March 2016

i was impatient to reach the peak. we took 45 minutes to reach the peak from Kem Botak.

i didn't get myself to enjoy the beautiful scenery to the maximum.

the clouds looked like wavy sea from the peak. the sunrise looked like the sunset at a beach. i was above the clouds.

nevertheless, i too was overthinking of that conflict in me. i was making du'a. and, maybe because i didn't have my sweet friend there for photos. ha-ha-ha!! that dependent me.

we were at the peak for 1 hour ++.

then, we returned to Kem Botak again. packed our things. cleared the campsite.

it was about 10a.m or 11a.m. when we began our journey to return to Kem Kor.

initially i was all by myself going down to Kem Kor. then, at a point when the fast and swift people stopped to wait for us behind, i was accompanied by Abg Rezal (it feels rude to not acknowledge him as 'abang' coz the age gap is like my gap with my father's youngest brother). well, he did motivate me to continue hiking and just go for it whenever i have the opportunity. i'm very thankful for the motivation.

then, we had a break at Kem Kubang. we had our hot tea with lychees (or was it just plain tea?)! it was heaven. ha-ha. we spent about 2 hours there.

later, i took my own pace again. i was behind Faeza. then, Shima overtook me. then, Wanie also overtook me. but, at a point, someone (i forgot who was it) needed some medication. thus, Wanie stopped. i continued my pace. here, i was accompanied by Amir unexpectedly. he was real fast before this. when i was aware that it was Amir behind me, i stopped and told him, "Please, go ahead" but he refused. ha-ha-ha. he spoke English to me. the masquerade broken English (i believe that his English is not that bad). he laughed at me when i told him my MUET band... *annoyed* after some times, i told him to just overtake me because i was too slow. he refused again saying that he wanted to talk to people. LOL. i was real slow when it came to going down lower 90 degrees. i'm that afraid person. *shrugs* we talked rubbish for about 40 minutes. rubbish i call it coz he once said that don't believe what he said.. therefore, lies = rubbish. *rolling eyes* it was the third time i told him to overtake me if i'm not mistaken, he didn't refuse. hahahaha!!

i was left alone again. well... when i was left alone, i did feel scared. i did imagine seeing a bear, a tiger... i did feel like hearing footsteps behind me. i was scared to climb the 90 degrees cliffs alone. when i reached the river which i know that meant i was near to Kem Kor already, i was anxious. i saw a bear that day! i looked at my watch. it's quite near the same time. it was 17:20hrs that time i was alone. i gave a thought, should i wait for others behind me? what if something would happen if just wait there? should i continue? what if i lost? alas, i just couldn't resist myself that i would be more afraid to be static there. hahahaha! asking for Allah, i continued my steps.

i also learnt to appreciate the signs on the trees. the yellow signs. ha-ha-ha. if not, i would be drowning in the river coz i didn't search for the yellow thing.

i walked through the river since i was afraid to climb the river bank. from afar, i could see the clump of branches... was worried to expect what would i see behind the clump. i waddled slowly and cautiously.

surprisingly, i saw many strangers soaking themselves in the river. huwaaa... awkwardness occupied me. i don't like crowds. there were so many people. the campsite was like a market. hahaha!

had a glass of milo lava. milo lava = boiling water + milo

that night, i got a chance to soak myself in the river. we played in the river in the dark. heaven! it's been since that watery hike i wanted to be in the river without feeling shy or guilt.

i didn't join them chatting that night. i didn't feel like socializing myself. i joined the hike and being anti-social? hahaha! i wasn't sleepy though that time. i forced myself to sleep till i fell asleep. then, i remembered that i woke up asking some water from Wanie or Shima. *rolling eyes* bad me.

Day 4.. 14th March 2016

i woke up quite early. 5 i think. then, thinking of i was the only person who slept early last night, just wait till 6 to wake up Shima to go to the river. after we prayed, i stayed inside my cozy sleeping bag. i was lazy to get up. i needed some warmth. i looked into my hand phone. i cleared unwanted photos from the memory. i felt sad  when i looked at photos of school activities... i didn't want to go back!! only after finished clearing the photos, i got up and packed my things. then, i went to the kitchen tent.

hahaha! there... i was teased coz i slept early yet late to help for breakfast. i just pulled one sided smile. i was not in the mood. i was sad to get out of the jungle. ;(

before we leave Kem Kor, i put some ointment on my shoulders. hahahaha! then, along the journey, i was uncomfortable and felt feverish. shouldn't do that next time.

this time, i didn't really have anyone accompanied me again just like the very first and second day. :)

luckily when i was about to cross a river, Zatie, Daus, Aien and Abg Juki were there. ^_^

Aien and Abg Juki went fast ahead of me. oh. i remember. i was that weak to go down because it just meant that i was near to the reality again. T_T

As Aien and Abg Juki walked fast ahead of me, i walked slowly with small steps. Zatie and Daus were behind me. again, i was only asking for Allah. i had reached Tahan's peak, yet my feelings conflict wasn't resolved at all. *smirk to myself*

at Kuala Juram, we had opportunity to visit Kelah's Sanctuary. the fish are slippy. jelly-like-texture-of-scales. i was laughing out loud when i sat in the river and Abg Juki (the father of the fish. hehe) threw the food surrounding me. the fishes came and eat their food. their slippy body can be felt by me when they greedily eat the food. the pellets. *hilarious*

we also got the opportunity to watch Selembu (cows with wearing white socks genes) snatching (hahaha!!!) grass when we were going down from Kuala Juram by 4wd.

my feelings on that 4wd was hard and difficult. i was really not willing to get out of the jungle.

we reached Sg. Relau at 5p.m something. Azham lost his car key.

got many bruises. the bruise that i still have is the one under my father finger's nail.

again. i owe Zatie, Daus and Aien, and Faeza for sending me to RnR Gua Musang.

thank you minna san. thank you very much. mucho gracias. #MROT

__________________________________________________________________________

i was excited to share my experience. nevertheless, when i was left at the RnR, there was nobody really asked me about it. thus, i updated a photo in a group. the members in the group responded actively until the next day i reached home... i just could feel like they made fun of me. oh. that slow me. that naive me.

today.. again, i felt small when one of them asked me, "u really didn't know that they experienced Tahan?"

i feel stupid.

making fun of this kind of thing... huhu. they could ask different type of questions that portray their experience like "kem tu macam ni lagi ke... masih ada sungai macam tu ke..." something like that.

maybe am too sensitive. or maybe i just don't get it how guys make jokes?

but, during Tahan Hiking, i didn't have that kind of feelings with them eventho they teased me.

"....................................................."

i also asked Syuk or Sq about his perspective towards married women being active with outdoor activities. the different perspective in his answer was that he mentioned that if you have a baby, ur baby's body condition shud be considered to be brought with you for a hike. just wait for the baby to grow up. hahaha. hahaha. hahahah. k. he just highlighted about the baby. not that women can't join such activities because it's their duty to be at home. ^_^ do you get me?

another special thing during Tahan hiking was that among 8 guys (of the participants), only ONE of them is a smoker. (or more i don't know. but i witnessed only one). the hike was quite healthy la with less smoke. and am happy about it. :)

well. been working with smokers within this one year made me ask myself, "will i die of inhaling their smokes?"

and until today, no one really asked me about the hike. it was only me who's in my own excitement of doing it. ha-ha-ha. pathetic me.

Shima. Zatie. Wanie. did invited me for other hiking. two of them. i gave my name for both. but, i just had to cancel. and i don't know why it was very hard to cancel. i cried hard for cancelling both. i only ask for Allah.

i really couldn't let go my Tahan experience when i wasn't in my reality for my first week of working after that one week break.

it was really hard. only last week, i could get my feet back on the ground.

and today, am crying hard and deep again.

i just don't understand myself too.

looking forward #R2RI

jaa.


21:45hrs (12th April 2016) - 00:07hrs (13th April 2016)