erroneous me - my career.

one of the fasiLINUS of the district came to my work place.

it was my second day wearing new braces too. wearing new braces gave me a little discomfort in my mouth and some pains.

when it was my turn for him to check on the progress of conducting the screening, everything seemed so wrong. nothing was right from me and i just couldn't help myself to turn left that made me just went straight.

my first mistake was my headcount form.

the senior teacher who is the main 'penyelaras' for LINUS did remind me a week before about that form. i myself too was aware about preparing the new one of the form. nevertheless, i was very slack to do it.

then, came to my BPPI forms. darn it. i wasn't afraid that i didn't do the screening on all of my clients. what was so not right that i forgot to mark one of my clients' form. i did the screening on her. i just didn't mark the form.

then, i asked a question which been haunting me for days after i went to the briefing for LINUS screening for writing.

"can i give up the screening on my clients?" (he corrected my question tho)

it wasn't that i wanted to humiliate anyone. no. if it's about humiliating anyone, it would be me who was humiliated by myself. kay?

the answer is no. i need to finish the screening on my clients. by hook or by crook. i was... okay. i'll do my best to achieve that.

my errors didn't complete there.

the fasi was about to leave. he needed to sign one of our record books. i requested for him to sign mine since i have collected 3 of my admins signatures. HAHAHA!!

he checked my lesson plans. OMG. the erroneous me. i was called by the boss early in this year, for my mistakes in writing the lesson plans. i was so... i don't know. i felt useless. and i knew, i was the one who wasn't helping myself. i didn't ask for help. i thought i could survive living alone. it seemed that i'm drowning surviving myself.

i felt that am not qualified to be there. i felt like not continuing working in this sector.

along with that error, my sad and frustrated memories of my practicum came to my mind. and i just couldn't help to not feel sad. yet, all the strength i had lost since Tahan Hike, slowly came to my soul. i just got my feet back on the ground with that slap. the feelings i wasn't able to let go of Tahan hike ran away from me just like that. however, i still wasted rivers of tears again thinking of hiking and my career.

i thought i have been thinking about my clients so much, so, why of these errors?

i thought i have got the interest doing this job, so, why of these errors?

i thought i have my mind set up clear, so, why of these errors?