9th & 10th.

9th day.

I wanted to be a good eldest daughter at home. I failed. Bahahaha.

Father woke me up.

I was the last person in the house to have sahur. *blergh*

Sent father to the airport.

Ordered my first handbag ever.

Pink rose colour.

Went to the bank. Thought of settling some technical things regarding my online banking access. Nevertheless, after looking at the balance in my account, it's embarrassing to go the counter with that amount. Bahahaha.

Returned home.

Lazying around on the couch.

Then, when it's about another two hours near father's arrival time, i went to the kitchen and clean up the space. Not perfectly as mother would have done it, as not perfectly as me the bad daughter. *blergh*

Went to the airport. Fetched father.

Returned home for 30 minutes.

Iftar jama'ie without mother.

Sent father and the little brothers home again.

Went to the airport. Waited for mother's arrival.

Fetched mother.

While waiting for mother to pray at a surau, had a chance to talk to my father's aunt. Our conversation wasnt end yet. I do want to listen more.

10th day.

My final day home.

Well. Didnt wake up too early.
As i woke up, i do the laundry. Put my clothes into the washing machine. I did look for mother. Mother wasn't around.

While waiting for the clothes in the washing machine, i just remembered. Mother had a class. Tuition.

Contacted Dilla.  A year ago, she provided me shelter when i was going to attend my convocation. ^-^

.............

Am giving up all my fantasies.

Am giving up all my sweet loving dreams.

Am not hoping for anything sweet and lovely ahead of me.

Am killing the ambitious me.

I dont want to have ambitions when i know the important people in my life dont have such expectations toward me.

My self image is bad.

My conflict resolved.

And i found the solution: dont be ambitious.